THE ROYALS           


The idea of royal leadership was emphatically rejected by the founders of the American system. Yet, as indicated by the huge audience for The Crown, today many Americans are fascinated by the British royal family. This is not because of their politics; under the British system they are not supposed to have any. (Edward Vlll expressed a fondness for Nazism, but that was after his abdication in 1936). So the interest has been mainly personal, sexual, and now financial, with periodic scandals swirling around the pristine and stoic figure of Queen Elizabeth.


The Queen has many functions that depend on her renown
Like meeting with the leading politicians.
But all those family members who will never wear the crown:
What the hell are they to make of their positions?

Of all of them Prince Andrew is the most distressing case,
Joined a group designed to sleep with teen-age beauties.
When discovered he was punished with the ultimate disgrace --
No longer he’ll perform his royal duties.

But then there came a moment that appeared to bring relief
From uncomfortable designs and accusations, 
And inaugurate an age in which the dominant belief
Is the harmony of races and of nations.

For Prince Harry married Meghan, who is black as well as white,
An American with beauty most beguiling.
And their wedding featured music that seemed absolutely right
Though quite different from the Church of England styling.

In a year or so a baby brought a chorus of applause
The tabloids swooned with headlines most effusive.
Yet as time went by, said Harry, he was furious because
 Of stories that were racist and intrusive.              

And so it was decided that a change was overdue
They’d spend more time across the north Atlantic
A line of business products they intended to pursue
With prospects they were sure were quite gigantic.

This proposal to the Queen they then presented for support,
But her answer wasn’t what they had expected
To spend more time abroad she was not inclined to thwart 
But their business plan had features she rejected.

In particular she noted that the methods they had planned
Included factors that compelled her to resist ‘em
For packaging their products underneath a family brand
Is the selling of the British royal system

Finally let’ face a fact that no-one can evade:
The time will come when Charles will be ascending.
Which means, I fear, my caustic and satirical parade
Isn't heading for a very happy ending.


Posted on Saturday, February 01, 2020 (Archive on Friday, October 28, 2022)



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