It all began in May 2017 with the remarkable announcement that, over the objections of a furious President Trump, ex-FBI Director Robert Mueller would direct an investigation into allegations that Russia, with the cooperation of members of the Trump campaign team, interfered in the 2016 presidential election.

                 In  March 2019 Mueller released a 448  page report which found that there had indeed been Russian intervention; that some members of the Trump team had cooperated with the Russians; and that Trump  had tried to shut the investigation down. Yet the report, while sounding the alarm about foreign intervention in our system, and indicting some of Trump’s close associates, stopped short of recommending sanctions against Trump himself.

          Satirists found it all disappointing. The lengthy report, though containing an abundance of damning material, was written mostly in legalese, was read by very few, and stopped short of a clear condemnation of the President. Democratic hopes that this would be remedied by Mueller’s testimony before two congressional committees proved to be no less disappointing. Mueller in person was even more constrained than the report itself.

          Jimmy Kimmel described the premier of “Les Muellerables”. The Onion mocked the hearings as All the President’s Men meets Rambo”. Robert de Niro, who played Mueller on Saturday Night Live, said that Mueller had a right to play himself as a “patriot serving his country from the battlefields of Vietnam to the battlefields of Washington, D.C.” But he himself, “more of  a method actor, would have channeled my inner rage’ at Donald Trump.”

           All in all, another Democratic disappointment:

 The report that was submitted
Over Robert Mueller’s name
Was delivered in a language
Most considered rather lame.
So although within its pages
There was plenty to appall,
And by many it was quoted,
Very few had read it all.

 For the Democrats in Congress
Frustration was the mood.
Then they came up with a tactic
That could offer hope renewed.
Mueller’s volume was impressive
But its readership was slim.
Maybe folks would watch the movie
If the action featured him.  

 Before two House committees
Robert Mueller then appeared
But it didn’t have the impact
That Republicans had feared.
For each time he faced a question
His response was rather slow,
And mostly it consisted of
A simple Yes! or No!

 So he won’t receive an Oscar,
And a Golden Globe is out,
For showmanship is clearly
Not what Mueller is about.
And though they tried to give him
The strong romantic lead,
As John Wayne or Humphrey Bogart
He never could succeed.

 Here’s the Democrats’ dilemma
Which they always seem to reach:
Should they energize their party
By attempting to impeach?
But the Senate’s opposition
They would certainly announce.
So November 2020
Is still the only date that counts.






Posted on Monday, August 12, 2019 (Archive on Sunday, May 08, 2022)



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